Physical Touch...

In the 40,000 hours or so that I have spent with women I can honestly say one of the biggest complaints I have heard is "the only time my spouse or boyfriend touches me is when he wants sex". I remember one client in particular who was on a cruise with her husband when something inside of her finally snapped and she told him "I'm not your fucking hooker". She didn't talk to her husband the last 3 days of the cruise and six months later she was divorced. Her biggest complaints were that he never communicated with her (another article) and he never touched her unless he wanted to have sex.

Typically the next remark that I get is "even if I ask him to rub my shoulders or my back he does it for 30 seconds and puts so little effort into it and makes it seem like such an inconvenience what's the point"? If this sounds familiar and you do this all the time to the person you call your sweetheart is that you don't value her as a person. The moment your sweetheart feels like all you care about is having sex with her and that she isn't important to you as a human being is the moment you stop having as much sex as you want. So if you find yourself saying things to your sweetheart like: We never have sex anymore, I feel like you aren't attracted to me anymore, Why can't the sex be like it used to be when we first met. And you are hearing her saying all to often: I am just too tired, Not tonight, I am just not that interested in sex anymore! You may want to pay extra attention to what I am about to say...

Women are wired completely different than men when it comes to sex. Even the women I have known who are the most sexual typically don't want to have sex unless they feel valued and loved by the man they are with. In my opinion, one of the best ways to show a woman you love her is to touch her: hold her hand, run your fingers through her hair, rub her feet at night while you are watching your favorite shows together, when she is cooking dinner come up behind her and wrap your arms around her and tell her how sexy she is, give her a hug when you get home like its the last time you will ever see her, put your hand on her leg when you are driving in the car, when you can see she is tense, upset and having a hard day envelop her with physical touch, rub her shoulders, etc and you will literally see the tension leave her body... And at least once a month get the lotion out and give your sweetheart a head to toe massage that lasts at least an hour. If you don't know how to give a massage and you feel inadequate spend the $50 or $60 dollars you would on a massage and ask the massage therapist to walk you through how to give a great massage.

My advice would be to become fascinated with your lover's body,  pay extra attention to what she likes, how she responds to your touch,  to communicate with her and ask her what she likes best. In turn, you will make her feel special, wanted and valued as a human being. The greatest thing of all is you will create an intimate relationship with your sweetheart which will lead to amazing sex and a much better relationship.

So if your relationship is not where you want it to be and the intimacy in your relationship is less than you desire. Touch her often and with a sense of purpose to communicate to her that you love her and value her as a person and I can guarantee you will notice an immediate change in your relationship. The spark that brought your relationship will return and just might be better than ever...